No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
