I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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