There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
