not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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