Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
