You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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