i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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