you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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