Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
