shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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