He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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