you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize