All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
