she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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