i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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