so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
