she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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