I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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