your thong is hanging out like whoa
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
