She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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