i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
