i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
