My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
