you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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