Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
