I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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