her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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