Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
