Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
