Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize