This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
