Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
