Your dad touched me again.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
