If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
do herpes really smell.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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