nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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