oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
