That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
