This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
