I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
