people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
