I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
