tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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