Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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