Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize