How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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