What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
