I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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