Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
