She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
