dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
