I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
