Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize