He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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