Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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