Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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