My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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