Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
